At the end of a recent parenting presentation a mum told me of her frustration with her 12 year old son.
“He just can’t remember a thing I tell him! I asked him to do clean his room and tidy this stuff off the kitchen table and he told me to stop nagging!”
Another mum who was listening chimed in and said, “That’s one instruction too many for a boy of that age! Your son probably has Scrambled-brain syndrome.”
Ha!
This mum is right. I’m not too sure about the term she used, but many boys in early puberty battle their physiology.
Their brains begin a reconstruction that will finish sometime in their mid twenties. In the early teenage years simple recall can be a problem when raising boys. Some even have trouble finding the right words to use. It takes a little longer to find the right information in the brain until new connections are made.
Motivation for some boys can be a problem. The dopamine levels (the natural feel-good chemical) swing wildly at this age meaning they experience mood swings.
Similarly, early teenage boys can be a little overwhelmed by all that’s expected of them so it helps if a parent can be their brain for a time.
It’s not that early teen boys are not smart; it’s just their developing brain presents them with some challenges. But there are some things you can do to assist when raising boys with ‘Scrambled-brain syndrome’:
1. Keep it simple. Give them one instruction at a time rather than two or three instructions. Overload them with too much information and you are gunning for failure. One idea or instruction at a time is the go!
2. Go visual. To-do-lists and written instructions are important memory aids for kids going through changes. If there is something important for your son to remember, write it on a sheet of paper and put it on the fridge, where he is sure to see it!
3. Ease their load. Ease their burden by doing some of their jobs or even get them up in the morning. Take some of their responsibilities away for a time if they are not coping with school, their after-school commitments and other aspects of being a young person.
4. Check their schedules. Puberty is not always the best time for boys to be super-busy. Consider temporarily dropping an activity or two until they are back in control again.
Adolescent girls experience something similar to boys–‘marshmallow brain’ – but that’s for another article. For now, if you have a boy approaching puberty, or in early adolescence, make sure you keep your sense of humour as this will help you deal with the frustration of dealing with a boy who temporarily seems to have lost much of his memory and his common sense.
For more ideas to help you raise mighty boys visit parentingideas.com.au
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