With three adolescent children I am convinced that it is kids rather than cholesterol that presents the greatest danger to my health. 

When they were young my children more or less agreed with most things I said. Now parenting has become a form of World Series Debating as they increasingly look for ways of gaining more freedom. 

Once they laughed at my jokes. Now they simply raise their eyes in mock horror at my futile attempts at humour. 

While I was once a model parent who was adored and looked up to. Now as my son recently reminded me, "Normal parents don’t act like you!" 

The good news is that research projects from around the world indicate that parental arguments with adolescents over setting limits pay off. 

Children and young people generally gauge their wellbeing by how much their parents and teachers care for them. Being willing to put a set of boundaries around kid’s behaviour in place, preferably with some type of negotiation, and standing firm against any subsequent arguments is a tough way to show you care. But studies have shown that it counts in the long run for kids. 

When young people feel that they are connected to their family, school and their community they are less likely to engage in risk-taking behaviours such as, drinking alcohol, smoking tobacco and marijuana, engage in early sex or have suicidal thoughts.

Connectedness means more than parents loving and caring for their children. Parents who have high but reasonable expectations for their children’s social behaviour and performance in school are actually keeping them out of trouble. And those who express their opposition to early sexual activity tend to keep their children from having sex at a young age. Parental disapproval is still something most kids want to avoid. 

Staying connected to school can be a challenge for some young people particularly those who don’t experience a great deal of success. But connectedness is not necessarily related to academic results. When children and young people perceive that teachers are fair and that they feel part of their school then they have a strong protective factor working for them. 

Forming strong connections with their community is often most difficult for young people. But they can feel a part of their community in a number of ways – through a part-time job, through community sport, coaching or some sort or organised leisure activities. Being involved in their local community puts young people in touch with adults outside of their family. 

It is the outsiders in our community who are most at risk. Young people grow strong when they have a meaningful connection to their family; when they have a school that nurtures them rather than purely educates them; and when they live in a community that views them as valuable resources rather than problems. 

So if you are a parent, grandparent, teacher or a caring professional, who at times, feels that you are five steps to the right of Attila the Hun in young people eye’s, hang in there. Your current discomfort maybe a small price to pay for a teenager’s future well being.